Help Me Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. Help Me Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Help Me Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Help Me Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Help Me Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Help Me Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. Help Me Get My Husband Back