God How Do I Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. God How Do I Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. God How Do I Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time until you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. God How Do I Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to all of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” God How Do I Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. God How Do I Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to get the identical impact as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. God How Do I Get My Husband Back