God Help Me Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. God Help Me Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. God Help Me Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. God Help Me Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” God Help Me Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. God Help Me Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to get exactly the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. God Help Me Get My Husband Back