Getting Your Ex-Husband Back From The Other Woman
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Getting Your Ex-Husband Back From The Other Woman
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Getting Your Ex-Husband Back From The Other Woman
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Getting Your Ex-Husband Back From The Other Woman
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to every one my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Getting Your Ex-Husband Back From The Other Woman
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Getting Your Ex-Husband Back From The Other Woman
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to have the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Getting Your Ex-Husband Back From The Other Woman