Get Your Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. Get Your Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Your Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Your Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access to every one of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Get Your Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Your Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have exactly the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Get Your Husband Back