Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the end. Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman