Get Your Husband Back After Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. Get Your Husband Back After Separation
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Your Husband Back After Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you will need time before you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Your Husband Back After Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access to all my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Get Your Husband Back After Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Your Husband Back After Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Your Husband Back After Separation