Get Your Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. Get Your Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Your Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Your Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Get Your Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Your Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Get Your Ex Husband Back