Get Your Ex Husband Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Get Your Ex Husband Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Your Ex Husband Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Your Ex Husband Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to all my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Get Your Ex Husband Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Your Ex Husband Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Your Ex Husband Back After Divorce