Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts at the end. Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get My Husband Back