Get My Husband Back After A Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. Get My Husband Back After A Separation
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get My Husband Back After A Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time before you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get My Husband Back After A Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Get My Husband Back After A Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get My Husband Back After A Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get My Husband Back After A Separation