Get My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Get My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Get My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Get My Ex Husband Back