Get My Ex Husband Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts at the end. Get My Ex Husband Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get My Ex Husband Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get My Ex Husband Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Get My Ex Husband Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it will reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get My Ex Husband Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Get My Ex Husband Back After Divorce