Get Husband Back Mantra
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Get Husband Back Mantra
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get Husband Back Mantra
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Husband Back Mantra
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access to all of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Get Husband Back Mantra
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Husband Back Mantra
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Husband Back Mantra