Get Husband Back After Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. Get Husband Back After Separation
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Husband Back After Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Husband Back After Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Get Husband Back After Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Husband Back After Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Husband Back After Separation