Get Husband Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the conclusion. Get Husband Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get Husband Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Husband Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to every one of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Get Husband Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Husband Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get exactly the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Get Husband Back After Divorce