Get Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the end. Get Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need time to calm down before you confer with your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Get Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get exactly the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Get Ex Husband Back