Get Ex Husband Back After Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never easy.

But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. Get Ex Husband Back After Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Ex Husband Back After Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.

So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Ex Husband Back After Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Get Ex Husband Back After Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Ex Husband Back After Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to have the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Ex Husband Back After Divorce

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

shares
error: Content is protected !!