Get Back Your Husband
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Get Back Your Husband
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Get Back Your Husband
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Back Your Husband
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Get Back Your Husband
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Back Your Husband
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the identical effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Back Your Husband