Get Back My Husband
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences at the end. Get Back My Husband
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get Back My Husband
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Back My Husband
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Get Back My Husband
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Back My Husband
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Back My Husband