Get Back Husband Mantra
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the end. Get Back Husband Mantra
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Get Back Husband Mantra
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you will need the time before you apologize to your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Get Back Husband Mantra
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Get Back Husband Mantra
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Get Back Husband Mantra
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Get Back Husband Mantra