In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Fixing Your Marriage Workbooks
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words such as dependable reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling once you think about it. Fixing Your Marriage Workbooks
I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or regardless of how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage Workbooks
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Fixing Your Marriage Workbooks
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your spouse has flaws. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections as opposed to despite of them.
This is unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage Workbooks
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s problems become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or perhaps not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Fixing Your Marriage Workbooks
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