In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Fixing Your Marriage Instead Of Divorce
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words like comforting, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is very humbling when you consider it. Fixing Your Marriage Instead Of Divorce
I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of regardless of how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage Instead Of Divorce
So What Is Unconditional Love?Fixing Your Marriage Instead Of Divorce
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your partner has faults. You know your spouse is not perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to those imperfections rather than in spite of them.
This really is unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage Instead Of Divorce
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the exact same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s issues become larger than they really are and dominate our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make errors. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is your love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Fixing Your Marriage Instead Of Divorce
Final ThoughtsFixing Your Marriage Instead Of Divorce
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