In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Fixing Your Marriage During A Separation
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling when you think about it. Fixing Your Marriage During A Separation
I don’t know of some others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage During A Separation
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Fixing Your Marriage During A Separation
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your partner has flaws. You realize your partner is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections rather than in spite of those.
This is unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage During A Separation
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our difficulties become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It is possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Fixing Your Marriage During A Separation
Final ThoughtsFixing Your Marriage During A Separation
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