In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Fixing Your Marriage After An Affair
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, food, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s quite humbling once you think about it. Fixing Your Marriage After An Affair
I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage After An Affair
So What Is Unconditional Love?Fixing Your Marriage After An Affair
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your partner has faults. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections instead of despite of those.
This is unconditional love.Fixing Your Marriage After An Affair
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s difficulties become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Fixing Your Marriage After An Affair
Final ThoughtsFixing Your Marriage After An Affair
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