In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Dr Phil How To Fix A Broken Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as dependable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is very humbling when you consider it. Dr Phil How To Fix A Broken Marriage
I don’t know of some others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Dr Phil How To Fix A Broken Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Dr Phil How To Fix A Broken Marriage
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your spouse has faults. You understand your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections instead of in spite of them.
This is unconditional love.Dr Phil How To Fix A Broken Marriage
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s issues become bigger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to place the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Dr Phil How To Fix A Broken Marriage
Final ThoughtsDr Phil How To Fix A Broken Marriage
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