In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Dear God Save My Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words such as reliable, dependable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling when you consider it. Dear God Save My Marriage
I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of regardless of how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Dear God Save My Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Dear God Save My Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your partner has flaws. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner due to the imperfections rather than despite of them.
That is unconditional love.Dear God Save My Marriage
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our difficulties become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is your love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Dear God Save My Marriage
Final ThoughtsDear God Save My Marriage
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