In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. Can Your Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you think about it. Can Your Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or regardless of how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can Your Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can Your Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner is not perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to those imperfections as opposed to despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.Can Your Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our problems become larger than they really are and rule our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is your love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can Your Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
Final ThoughtsCan Your Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
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