Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.

So you need time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you all agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It is never easy.

But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Can You Win Your Ex Wife Back After Divorce

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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