In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can You Save Your Marriage With The No Contact Rule

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of women believed kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and comforting were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring only food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling once you think about it. Can You Save Your Marriage With The No Contact Rule

I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can You Save Your Marriage With The No Contact Rule

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?Can You Save Your Marriage With The No Contact Rule

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize by now your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of the imperfections rather than despite of those.

That really is unconditional love.Can You Save Your Marriage With The No Contact Rule

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the exact same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our problems become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to place the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It is possible to not like your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can You Save Your Marriage With The No Contact Rule

 

Final ThoughtsCan You Save Your Marriage With The No Contact Rule

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