In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can You Save Your Marriage After An Affair

A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and simple to keep.

A number of women considered kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with things they used in their lives. Words such as reliable reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is very humbling once you think about it. Can You Save Your Marriage After An Affair

I have no idea of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can You Save Your Marriage After An Affair

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?Can You Save Your Marriage After An Affair

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize by now your spouse has faults. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to the imperfections as opposed to in spite of those.

This is unconditional love.Can You Save Your Marriage After An Affair

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can You Save Your Marriage After An Affair

 

Final ThoughtsCan You Save Your Marriage After An Affair

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