Can You Get Your Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Can You Get Your Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can You Get Your Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can You Get Your Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Can You Get Your Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can You Get Your Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Can You Get Your Husband Back