Can You Get Your Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.

However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.

So you need time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Can You Get Your Husband Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

Can You Get Your Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you all agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.

So you need the time to calm down before you confer with your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can You Get Your Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to have the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Can You Get Your Husband Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

shares
error: Content is protected !!