In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can Unhappy Marriage Be Saved
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring just food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is quite humbling once you think about it. Can Unhappy Marriage Be Saved
I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can Unhappy Marriage Be Saved
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?Can Unhappy Marriage Be Saved
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your spouse has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections rather than in spite of those.
This is unconditional love.Can Unhappy Marriage Be Saved
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s issues become bigger than they really are and rule our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It’s possible to not like your partner or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can Unhappy Marriage Be Saved
Final ThoughtsCan Unhappy Marriage Be Saved
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