In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can This Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words like reliable, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple demands, requiring only meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is quite humbling once you consider it. Can This Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can This Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can This Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your partner has faults. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner due to the imperfections as opposed to in spite of them.
That really is unconditional love.Can This Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not enjoy your partner or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can This Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
Final ThoughtsCan This Marriage Be Saved After Infidelity
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