In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can Our Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

A number of guys in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they used in their lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, food, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it is very humbling once you think about it. Can Our Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

I don’t know of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can Our Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?Can Our Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know chances are your spouse has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of those imperfections as opposed to despite of them.

That really is unconditional love.Can Our Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.

So what do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s difficulties become larger than they really are and rule our lives.

If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make errors. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can Our Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

 

Final ThoughtsCan Our Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

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