In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can My Marriage Be Saved
A number of guys in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these items felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling when you think about it. Can My Marriage Be Saved
I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved
So What Is Unconditional Love?Can My Marriage Be Saved
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your spouse has flaws. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to the imperfections instead of in spite of those.
That really is unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our issues become bigger than they really are and rule our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can My Marriage Be Saved
Final ThoughtsCan My Marriage Be Saved
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