In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can My Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with things they utilized in their lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is very humbling when you think about it. Can My Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence

I don’t know of some others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can My Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that is fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections instead of in spite of those.

This is unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.

What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s difficulties become larger than they actually are and rule our lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence

 

Final ThoughtsCan My Marriage Be Saved After Domestic Violence

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