In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. Can My Marriage Be Saved After Divorce
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as reassuring, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you consider it. Can My Marriage Be Saved After Divorce
I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Divorce
So What Is Unconditional Love?Can My Marriage Be Saved After Divorce
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your partner has flaws. You realize your partner is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections rather than despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Divorce
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our issues become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Divorce
Final ThoughtsCan My Marriage Be Saved After Divorce
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