In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. Can My Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of women considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and reassuring were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you consider it. Can My Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can My Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize chances are your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of the imperfections as opposed to in spite of those.

This is unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our difficulties become bigger than they really are and rule our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can My Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

 

Final ThoughtsCan My Marriage Be Saved After An Affair

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