In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. Can My Marriage Be Saved After Abuse
A number of guys in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words like dependable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling once you think about it. Can My Marriage Be Saved After Abuse
I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Abuse
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?Can My Marriage Be Saved After Abuse
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your partner has flaws. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that is fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of those imperfections instead of in spite of those.
That really is unconditional love.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Abuse
The identical thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You’ve got faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our issues become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.Can My Marriage Be Saved After Abuse
Final ThoughtsCan My Marriage Be Saved After Abuse
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