Can My Husband Get His Feelings Back For Me
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. Can My Husband Get His Feelings Back For Me
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can My Husband Get His Feelings Back For Me
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can My Husband Get His Feelings Back For Me
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Can My Husband Get His Feelings Back For Me
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it will reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Can My Husband Get His Feelings Back For Me
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can My Husband Get His Feelings Back For Me