Can My Husband Fall Back In Love
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. Can My Husband Fall Back In Love
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can My Husband Fall Back In Love
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need time until you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can My Husband Fall Back In Love
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to every one of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can My Husband Fall Back In Love
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Can My Husband Fall Back In Love
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have exactly the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can My Husband Fall Back In Love