Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In