Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you all agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

But there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you will need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never easy.

But the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the end. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?

However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you need the time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.

I’m pleased to give you open access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to get exactly the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can My Ex Husband Moved Back In

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