Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you will need time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.

I am pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it will undo the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get exactly the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never simple.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you will need time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Can My Ex Husband And I Get Back Together

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

shares
error: Content is protected !!