Can I Win My Wife Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the end. Can I Win My Wife Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Win My Wife Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Win My Wife Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Win My Wife Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Win My Wife Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the same effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Can I Win My Wife Back