Can I Win My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Can I Win My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Win My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need the time until you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Win My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Win My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Win My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can I Win My Husband Back