Can I Win My Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?

However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you need the time until you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Win My Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can I Win My Husband Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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Can I Win My Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never easy.

However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences at the end. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.

So you will need the time before you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you open access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Win My Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Win My Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to have exactly the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can I Win My Husband Back

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