Can I Win My Husband Back With A Letter
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the conclusion. Can I Win My Husband Back With A Letter
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Win My Husband Back With A Letter
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need time until you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Win My Husband Back With A Letter
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access to every one of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Can I Win My Husband Back With A Letter
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Win My Husband Back With A Letter
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get exactly the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. Can I Win My Husband Back With A Letter