Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time until you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Can I Win My Ex Husband Back