Can I Win Back My Wife After Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Can I Win Back My Wife After Separation
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Can I Win Back My Wife After Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time before you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Win Back My Wife After Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Win Back My Wife After Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Win Back My Wife After Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have the identical impact as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Can I Win Back My Wife After Separation