Can I Sue My Ex-Husband For Back Child Support
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts at the conclusion. Can I Sue My Ex-Husband For Back Child Support
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Can I Sue My Ex-Husband For Back Child Support
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time until you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Can I Sue My Ex-Husband For Back Child Support
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Can I Sue My Ex-Husband For Back Child Support
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Can I Sue My Ex-Husband For Back Child Support
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Can I Sue My Ex-Husband For Back Child Support